When my Mom passed I wanted to cancel Mother's Day. It was just too painful to think about celebrating a day without her. I thought that if I pretended the day didn't exist, I wouldn't have to experience the pain and withdrawal of being Motherless. It has been four years now since my Mom passed and suddenly I feel differently. I want to stand up and tell the world how great my Mom was and more importantly I want my Mom to know how all the little imperfections a Mother displays are so meaningless in the scheme of things. You see we all do the best we can with what we know. Motherhood does not come with an instruction book or one of those many Dummy Books we all possess. But it does come with a reference book; a book of memories that we go back to when we are trying to figure out the right thing to say, think, or do. I like many other Mothers often reflect on what my Mother would have done given the circumstance.
My Mother raised ten children and I only raised one. The pain, the joys, the worry, the praise, I can't imagine having to do that ten times. Does this mean the anxiety that most mothers feel is more intense when you have more children? Well my son was born on Mother's Day. I didn't get to speak to my Mother until much later in the day. I even changed my son's name from Kelsey to Jacob, my maternal Grandfather's name because of this special occasion. I will always remember what my Mother said to me when I told her I gave birth to a son. "Give him all you got because I didn't have it to give to all of you." What was this it? She wanted my son to get the best of her combined efforts of raising ten children. She knew that the love, kindness, wisdom, discipline, etc. that Mothers give can never be enough, especially if you have to share it out in small doses. Well today I celebrate my Mother, my son, and myself. I would like to share this with all the wonderful women who gave what they had, and for all the children, who so gladly received it. Happy Mother's Day!